Christina Curtis MA, LMFT, MFA

I see adult individuals and couples, preferably in person but also recognize that’s not always possible. I like to say that I’m an individual therapist who can hold the complexity of your relational world and a couples therapist who recognizes the sacred autonomy of the individual. I can help you identify habitual patterns, gain awareness of triggers, learn flexibility in response to stress, as well as to communicate with partners differently, through working with active listening, assertive communication and sharpening your language skills.

Good therapy illuminates what we do and why we do it. It can help you be more compassionate about the past, with self and others. At the same time, a good therapist pushes you to become more accountable in the present. Practice doing one thing differently! Learn to say it in a way your partner will hear it. On a thought level, therapy moves us toward flexibility and integration, recognizing that in most relationships there’s a lot of gray area–many things can be true at once in a relationship. Good therapy should work not just on change but on accepting what is. To accept yourself or the reality of your situation does not mean it will never change or that you shouldn’t try to improve but that you stop energetically running away from where you are right now. We need to explore the mysteries of the past, be accountable in the present and to loosen our grip on the illusion of a predefined future.

Many of my clients are creatives and if you're looking for a programmatic way of working, like a short term CBT model, I'm not the right fit. But I also think clients should be wary of a process that's only gentle and accommodating. Therapy is not meant to be a warm bath– it's best to speak together openly and frankly.

If you’re going to come in and do the work, it should be weekly at first and should be focused. Couples benefit from couples therapy because it’s a place where they can learn to have a different conversation with each other and to re-establish kindness and empathy. For individuals, I’ll want to know your goals and expectations for therapy, recognizing that for so many New Yorkers what’s most helpful involves a growth mandate(support for a meditation practice, accountability around health habits, workplace communication strategies, how to reduce conflict in your romantic relationship).Ultimately, therapy is an important investment in personal and relational growth– it helps people grow up, function more effectively in the world and treat self and others with more empathy. When you work it, it works. I can help.

As a younger therapist, I cared deeply about personal stories but didn't understand the way in which workplace relationships are often part of that personal story. I saw work issues as a passing reflection of whatever workplace culture in which that particular person happened to find herself, not yet understanding workplaces as predictable sites of co-created, dynamic systems, in which team members often take on roles familiar in other parts of their life. With my foundational training in family systems, I began to notice the ways in which my client’s workplaces were organized in similar ways to their families. Struggles with authority, “sibling” rivalry, difficulty in communicating effectively, people pleasing, fear of confrontation, etc–were endemic in workplace relational structures. I began to talk with my clients about looking at their relational and attachment styles, not just in terms of how they were showing up in their romantic and platonic relationships—but how they were interacting at work, too. Both families and workplaces operate as homeostatic systems. Within those systems, individuals often play roles(both official assigned roles within the workplace hierarchy and also shadow roles–caretaker, martyr, angry person–in which legitimate authority and overt hierarchy are mediated or even eclipsed by covert dynamics that don’t correspond to the org chart.

I’m now completing a postmasters certificate in Organizational Behavioral Consulting at the Harvard Extension School. In my Organizational Behavior courses, study has focused upon:

• Supporting conflict resolution through the lens of workplace culture
• What constitutes a culture that motivates employees
• The conditions necessary for employees to thrive in the workplace
• Workplace belonging and buy-in
• Leadership studies and how to maximize every team member's innate leadership potential
• Setting employees up for success within their roles and working with disparate working and leadership styles
• The art of negotiation
• Change management techniques
• Effects of gender and race on leadership styles
• Implicit and explicit power structures within the workplace and how to work with each
• The role of personality theory and personality testing in workplace functioning

Patrick Lencioni, in his seminal book of the same name, defines the five dysfunctions of a team: absence of trust, fear of conflict, lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability and inattention to results. Consultants often come into an organization to evaluate the last three of these items but, in my estimation, often insufficiently address the first two items. Conflict avoidance and lack of trust on a team are not solely linked to organizational style, structure or decision making. Leadership isn't always able to “organize” themselves out of a trust problem, for example. It’s important to look at individuals on a team and the collective team dynamic: their orientation to vulnerability, trusting authority and their baseline conflict resolution skills. In looking at Lencioni’s first two items, it’s apparent that professionals with a background in mental health and wellness, systemic thinking and relational intelligence are needed to help leaders address the interpersonal aspects of team functioning.

My consultation work within workplace settings involves teaching team members about emotional self regulation, appropriate vulnerability, structural issues that support emotional safety in the workplace(understood policies and procedures that have been communicated ahead of a problem), the language of accountability, communication skills(finding the language) and acknowledging existing hierarchies and power structures, both explicit and implicit power structures. For leaders, training and practice are needed– the ability to pull the camera back and see the larger picture within a given workplace conflict.

I rely heavily upon my seminal training in family and group systems, particularly the work of Irvin Yalom, Carl Whitaker, Salvador Minuchin, The Milan and Palo Alto groups of Family Therapists and Virginia Satir. In organizational consulting, I've been influenced by the Competing Values Framework in looking at styles and solutions within workplace culture and Brene Brown, Patrick Lencioni and Simon Sinek for their work on vulnerability, change and servant leadership. My thinking has also been influenced by models for change management, such as the Kubler Ross Change Curve and the Satir Change Model.